Archive for the 'Bible Studies for Life' Category
Are You Prepared to Resolve Conflicts?
“If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18, HCSB).
In a recent post on resolving conflict, we saw evidence from LifeWay Research that most people believe they are prepared to resolve conflict between themselves and others. According to a survey of more than 1,000 American adults, nearly 85% somewhat or strongly agree they are prepared for conflict resolution.
But how prepared are they, really?
Less than half the time, respondents answered:
- Go to a higher authority
- Avoid the problem and hope it goes away
- Attempt to fully satisfy yourself and others
More than half the time, respondents answered:
- Give in to the other person
- Pretend there is no conflict
Nearly 75% of the time, respondents answered:
- Find a middle ground
The answer mentioned most often – more than 80% of the time – was “Stand up for yourself.” This reveals a problematic thought process of how conflict can be resolved, though.
Selfishness Causes Conflict
We know from experience that wanting our own way – selfishness – is the cause of conflict, not the solution to it. Those who insist on their own way impede peace rather than pave the way for it. Just hang out in a room full of two year-olds for a little while. You’ll likely see lots of selfishness and plenty of toddler-sized conflict.
The Bible addressed this issue centuries ago. In Philippians, Paul writes,
If there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others (Phil. 2:1-4, HCSB).
Did you notice how it says unity is dependent upon the attitude of humility and preferring others before yourself? Not something that room full of two year-olds mentioned earlier has learned to do yet.
Humility is an Antidote to Selfishness
The attitudes of humility and putting others first are at direct odds with standing up for yourself as a means of resolving conflict. If humility can deflect conflict in the beginning, it can also help resolve it.
Some conflict in life is inevitable. We are all sinners who don’t always agree with each other. However, as followers of Christ, we must be peacemakers in our families, small groups, workplaces, and families of faith. As we pour over God’s Word together, let’s make sure we remain humble, treat others as we hope to be treated, and put others before ourselves.
To put it another way, just like Paul says, “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:5, HCSB). When we do, there will be more unity and less conflict.
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Senior Pastor, Cross Church Northwest Arkansas
General Editor, Bible Studies for Life
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.
Resolving Conflict and Living in Peace with One Another
One incredible blessing of knowing Christ is the peace knowing Him brings. The “peace that passes understanding” is real and available to every believer.
It seems, though, that Satan will do almost everything to destroy the peace God’s children are promised. Whether through accusations, harassment, or false guilt, as a roaring lion he still seeks those he might devour.
Conflict Destroys Unity
One thing Satan uses to help break the peace in the lives of Christians is conflict between them. If Satan can entice believers into conflict, especially open conflict, unity in the body is destroyed.
In the Book of Philippians, Paul mentioned two women, Euodia and Syntyche, urging them “to agree in the Lord” (4:2). The source of their disagreement is not mentioned nor is the outcome of his request. The rift was so troublesome Paul asked for someone he calls a “true partner” to “help these women who have contended for the gospel at my side.”
Here were two believers – followers of Christ, laborers in the gospel – separated by conflict. I do not think it an accident that Paul closely follows this plea with a promise of God’s peace. “Don’t worry about anything,” he says, “but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Conflict and Peace Do Not Lightly Co-exist
In those celebrated times when Christmas is celebrated during a war, with both sides observing a cease-fire, each knows conflict is only hours away. More often the “peace” is not peace at all; it is merely a lull in hostilities.
In much the same way, Satan exploits our natural tendency to selfishness. Conflict comes and peace flees. Worry, anxiety and frustration are all fruits of conflict.
But, do you notice anything? Those are not the fruit of the Spirit. Those would be love, joy, longsuffering, faith and peace. Where there is conflict, the fruit of the Spirit is gone because the Spirit has been quenched. We cannot pretend to embrace the “peace of God that passes all understanding” while in conflict.
Turmoil, fighting, conflict, hatred, bitterness and the rest are not signs of the Kingdom.
It is significant that Jesus, in His most well known address, “The Sermon on the Mount,” specifically mentions those who make peace: “The peacemakers are blessed, for they will be called the sons of God” (Matthew 5:9). This means those of us not involved in conflict have a responsibility to assist those who are. In this, we reflect the people for whom the Prince of Peace gave His life and promises His peace.
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Senior Pastor, Cross Church Northwest Arkansas General Editor, Bible Studies for Life
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.