Are You Prepared to Resolve Conflicts?

“If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18, HCSB).

In a recent post on resolving conflict, we saw evidence from LifeWay Research that most people believe they are prepared to resolve conflict between themselves and others. According to a survey of more than 1,000 American adults, nearly 85% somewhat or strongly agree they are prepared for conflict resolution.

But how prepared are they, really?

Less than half the time, respondents answered:

• Go to a higher authority
• Avoid the problem and hope it goes away
• Attempt to fully satisfy yourself and others

More than half the time, respondents answered:

• Give in to the other person
• Pretend there is no conflict

Nearly 75% of the time, respondents answered:

• Find a middle ground

The answer mentioned most often – more than 80% of the time – was “Stand up for yourself.” This reveals a problematic thought process of how conflict can be resolved, though.

Selfishness Causes Conflict

We know from experience that wanting our own way – selfishness – is the cause of conflict, not the solution to it. Those who insist on their own way impede peace rather than pave the way for it. Just hang out in a room full of two year-olds for a little while. You’ll likely see lots of selfishness and plenty of toddler-sized conflict.

The Bible addressed this issue centuries ago. In Philippians, Paul writes,

If there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others (Phil. 2:1-4, HCSB).

Did you notice how it says unity is dependent upon the attitude of humility and preferring others before yourself? Not something that room full of two year-olds mentioned earlier has learned to do yet.

Humility is an Antidote to Selfishness

The attitudes of humility and putting others first are at direct odds with standing up for yourself as a means of resolving conflict. If humility can deflect conflict in the beginning, it can also help resolve it.

Some conflict in life is inevitable. We are all sinners who don’t always agree with each other. However, as followers of Christ, we must be peacemakers in our families, small groups, workplaces, and families of faith. As we pour over God’s Word together, let’s make sure we remain humble, treat others as we hope to be treated, and put others before ourselves.

To put it another way, just like Paul says, “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:5, HCSB). When we do, there will be more unity and less conflict.

Yours for the Great Commission,

Ronnie W. Floyd

Senior Pastor, Cross Church Northwest Arkansas

General Editor, Bible Studies for Life