A Pastor and His Wife
Perhaps the most important decision a pastor makes in his life and ministry is choosing the woman who will become his wife. Through my years of pastoring and leading churches, I have always found that a pastor and his ministry will not surpass his marital relationship in terms of healthy growth. If his marriage is healthy, his ministry has a much greater probability of being productive and effective. Conversely, if his marriage is unhealthy, his ministry will be extremely limited and affected greatly.
Jeana and I have been married over 36 years. I became a local church pastor in September 1976, and we were married on Dec. 31, 1976. Jeana was a piano major in college and I am convinced I received the call to my first church because they needed a piano player!
I want to share a few practical things for every pastor and his wife to consider and act upon in life and ministry:
You Are Partners
You are partners in marriage and in ministry. Yes, I wrote that statement correctly. Partnership in marriage many understand, but partnership in ministry is becoming a unique quality for a pastor and his wife.
Jeana and I have always been partners in ministry. We have walked together hand-in-hand through all our years in ministry. She is fully involved in the life of the church. Every pastoral candidate that I call to serve on our Cross Church team is joined by his wife at his final interview. That interview is more about her than it is him.
During that interview I talk to her and ask her:
*Do you go to worship?
*Are you involved in a ministry of the church?
Then I proceed to tell her along with her husband:
*If you come here I expect you to be in worship weekly.
*If you come here I expect you to be involved in a ministry.
*If you come here I expect you to be involved in our monthly staff wives luncheon that Jeana leads.
*If you come here I expect you to be involved in our annual staff advance.
At Cross Church, we expect a pastor and his wife to be partners in ministry. More importantly, God expects a pastor and his wife to be partners in ministry.
Live Life Together
A pastor and his wife need to live life together. Yes, ministry is busy and at times very demanding. Every job has challenging seasons.
However, a pastor and his wife need to live life together. When time away from ministry occurs, this should not mean that he goes his way and she goes her way. Go together! Live life together.
The strongest testimony of a pastor and his wife comes when your people see you together, enjoying life together and living life together. This also keeps both of you from becoming vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks of sexual temptation. When people see you and your wife living life together this lets all others know: She is mine and I am hers. If you are not together or you are rarely seen together, you are sending signals that are very unhealthy for your people. Therefore, live life together!
Be Consistent
Be consistent in your walk with Christ and your calling to ministry both at church and at home. Do not be a hypocrite! The last thing the wife of the pastor needs to see is a different man at home than she sees in the pulpit. This is especially true when children enter into your life. Equally, the pastor does not need to come home to a wife who is personified at church as a great woman of God, but at home is a tough lady.
Both a pastor and his wife need to be consistent in their daily walk with Jesus. Consistent in their daily time with God. Consistent in praying together daily. Consistent in their family life and church life.
The anointing of God cannot be fooled! God knows if you are real and consistent daily, wherever you are. Usually, the anointing of God is strongest to those who live consistently wherever they may be, whether at home, at the ball field, within a restaurant, or at the church.
Many More Thoughts
Yes I have many more thoughts on this, but let’s just think upon and pray about these for now:
*You are partners
*Live life together
*Be consistent
May the Holy Spirit empower you to be these things and more!
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.
The two biggest pressures Americans face
In a recent post we looked at a broad cross-section of pressures Americans face. Among the significant pressures indicated in a survey conducted by LifeWay Research and Bible Studies for Life were confronting temptation, experiencing bias or prejudice, relating to family and friends, and facing criticism.
The only responses to garner more than one-third of Americans in agreement (both at 36%) were “lacking money for basic needs” and “dealing with conflict.”
As Christians, we should strive to build relationships with those inside and outside the community of faith. What then are the most effective ways to address these two issues?
Caring for those in need
The Apostle James made it clear, our response to those in need directly reflects our claims to faith and salvation: “If a brother or sister is without clothes and lacks daily food and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well.’ But you don’t give them what the body needs, what good is it?” (James 2:15-16, HCSB).
Whether these brothers and sisters are inside or outside our small groups hardly seems relevant. It’s an opportunity. People in need are people in need no matter where they are. Jesus never made such divisions, why should we? Christians in the first century made a distinctive reputation for themselves by caring for the poor and plague ridden while the Romans were scurrying out of town. Christians today should be the first ones to aid those who lack basic needs. Not only is this the command of Scripture, it is our spiritual heritage.
Caring for those in conflict
As we have seen through the LifeWay Research survey, people in America today are dealing with conflict. This conflict brings pressure that is often ongoing.
Scripture tells us in Galatians 6:2 to “Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”. Burden bearing is conducive to our own spiritual growth as we are reminded of our own burdens. We imitate Christ when we care for others in the middle of our own needs.
Those who have worked to develop the Bible Studies for Life curriculum, myself included, made a commitment to build the program in such a way that it strengthens individuals and families — even those dealing with needs or conflicts who need their faith family to help carry their burdens. But, it is impossible to carry the burdens of people we don’t know. We can’t help bear the burden for at least one-third of Americans who are dealing with conflict of some kind because we are unaware of the conflict and don’t know them. This means living in a small group community where burdens are shared and carried is important.
No less theologians than Paul McCartney and John Lennon struck this chord decades ago when they noted in Eleanor Rigby, “Look at all the lonely people. Where do they all come from? Look at all the lonely people. Where do they all belong?”
The answer, of course, is that they belong in a faith community with others who are pursuing God, and doing so in the midst of pressures of every kind.
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Senior Pastor, Cross Church Northwest Arkansas General Editor, Bible Studies for Life
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.