A Pastor and His Wife
Perhaps the most important decision a pastor makes in his life and ministry is choosing the woman who will become his wife. Through my years of pastoring and leading churches, I have always found that a pastor and his ministry will not surpass his marital relationship in terms of healthy growth. If his marriage is healthy, his ministry has a much greater probability of being productive and effective. Conversely, if his marriage is unhealthy, his ministry will be extremely limited and affected greatly.
Jeana and I have been married over 37 years. I became a local church pastor in September 1976, and we were married on Dec. 31, 1976. Jeana was a piano major in college and I am convinced I received the call to my first church because they needed a piano player!
3 Actions for Every Pastor and his Wife
1. You Are Partners
You are partners in marriage and in ministry. Yes, I wrote that statement correctly. Partnership in marriage many understand, but partnership in ministry is becoming a unique quality for a pastor and his wife.
Jeana and I have always been partners in ministry. We have walked together hand-in-hand through all our years in ministry. She is fully involved in the life of the church. Every pastoral candidate that I call to serve on our Cross Church team is joined by his wife at his final interview. That interview is more about her than it is him.
During that interview I talk to her and ask her:
*Do you go to worship?
*Are you involved in a ministry of the church?
Then I proceed to tell her along with her husband:
*If you come here I expect you to be in worship weekly.
*If you come here I expect you to be involved in a ministry.
*If you come here I expect you to be involved in our monthly staff wives luncheon that Jeana leads.
*If you come here I expect you to be involved in our annual staff advance.
At Cross Church, we expect a pastor and his wife to be partners in ministry. More importantly, God expects a pastor and his wife to be partners in ministry.
2. Live Life Together
A pastor and his wife need to live life together. Yes, ministry is busy and at times very demanding. Every job has challenging seasons.
However, a pastor and his wife need to live life together. When time away from ministry occurs, this should not mean that he goes his way and she goes her way. Go together! Live life together.
The strongest testimony of a pastor and his wife comes when your people see you together, enjoying life together and living life together. This also keeps both of you from becoming vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks of sexual temptation. When people see you and your wife living life together this lets all others know: She is mine and I am hers. If you are not together or you are rarely seen together, you are sending signals that are very unhealthy for your people. Therefore, live life together!
3. Be Consistent
Be consistent in your walk with Christ and your calling to ministry both at church and at home. Do not be a hypocrite! The last thing the wife of the pastor needs to see is a different man at home than she sees in the pulpit. This is especially true when children enter into your life. Equally, the pastor does not need to come home to a wife who is personified at church as a great woman of God, but at home is a tough lady.
Both a pastor and his wife need to be consistent in their daily walk with Jesus. Consistent in their daily time with God. Consistent in praying together daily. Consistent in their family life and church life.
The anointing of God cannot be fooled! God knows if you are real and consistent daily, wherever you are. Usually, the anointing of God is strongest to those who live consistently wherever they may be, whether at home, at the ball field, within a restaurant, or at the church.
Many More Thoughts
Yes I have many more thoughts on this, but let’s just think upon and pray about these for now:
*You are partners
*Live life together
*Be consistent
May the Holy Spirit empower you to be these things and more!
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.
Connecting in Unity
What the Scripture Says
“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! It is like fine oil on the head, running down on the beard, running down Aaron’s beard onto his robes. It is like the dew of Hermon falling on the mountains of Zion. For there the LORD has appointed the blessing – life forevermore.”1
“Therefore I, the prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us.”2
Unity Involves Setting Aside Differences
Dr. Thom Rainer talks about unity in the Fall 2014 session of Bible Studies for Life, “What if the church operated with such courage and resolve? But we can still set aside our differences, sacrifice our personal comfort, and work together to fulfill our call.”3
Few things damage the mission of a church like a lack of unity. When members are going here and there, pulling left and right, it is difficult to head in a single direction; difficult to make progress.
Not only that, the fighting that takes place in some churches ruins their testimony and hinders the witness of Christ.
Three Things to Remember About Unity
1. Unity is good!
The psalmist wrote above that unity is good and pleasant. Isn’t that true? When members of a church are ministering together, loving each other and living in one accord, it is both good and pleasant. Both the congregation and the ones who lead it are blessed.
2. Unity reflects the Trinity
When Jesus said, “I and the Father are one,” He wasn’t merely being poetic or metaphorical. He referenced a literal union of which the Holy Spirit is the third part. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit exist in a perfect unity of will and action. The Trinity may be beyond comprehending, but that doesn’t mean we cannot learn from the example set forth.
When God’s people are unified, we reflect the unity of the One we claim to worship. This truth is brought home to us when Paul refers to the church as one body with many parts. The parts may be different, but the purpose must be singular.
3. Unity is a result of being on mission.
Many think a church must unify before it can be on mission for God. It might be true a church can decide together to be on mission, but true unity occurs after the members are striving together on the mission, encouraging the weary, lifting up the fallen, praying toward the same end, and reaching the same goal.
Think about a couple at their wedding. They make a commitment to one another and take vows until “death do us part.” But that’s only the beginning. If they really love each other, strive to please and serve each other, then they will grow together, and think alike toward their goals, hopes and dreams. They become more unified as they pursue the goal.
Unity is essential in the life of a church. When churches are on mission, their members will connect in ministry together, and unity will be the result.
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Senior Pastor, Cross Church
General Editor, Bible Studies for Life
1– Psalm 133, HCSB
2– Ephesians 4:1-3, HCSB
3– Bible Studies for Life, Connected, Dr. Thom Rainer
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.