Archive for the 'Pastors' Category

Guest Post: Let the Men be the Men by Jeana Floyd

Jeana Floyd, rounded corners

Today, RonnieFloyd.com welcomes guest writer, Jeana Floyd. Jeana is the wife of Dr. Ronnie Floyd, mother, grandmother, author, and 24-year breast cancer survivor.

I grew up in a pastor’s home. I said I would never marry a pastor, but that is the only life I have ever known. Growing up in a pastor’s home undoubtedly molded much of my thinking as I became “the pastor’s wife.” Much of what I learned in a minister’s home has been resourceful and invaluable. I learned from my father to love the Church and God’s Word. My mother was a wonderful example of a quiet and gentle spirit and served with a true servant’s heart.

One of the greatest lessons and realizations I learned early on as a pastor’s wife was that I was not called to be the pastor. God did not intend for us to bear the burdens of the Church. He has called our husbands to do that. He has called us to walk by their sides and be supportive of their calling.

“Let the men be the men” is a phrase I coined years ago as I challenged our minister’s wives on how to cope with church issues. This is an area where many pastor’s wives get themselves in a great deal of conflict and invite trouble into their laps. When you attempt to take on and solve church problems, you make your husband look like a weak leader. That is not the message you want to send to your congregation.

Usually, men handle conflict and challenges differently. They resolve issues with less feeling and emotion. Men have the ability to disagree completely and go out and play golf together the next day. At times, women tend to hang on to hurts and nurse them for a while before we are able to move on.

I firmly believe that if we will “let the men be the men,” God will use them to lead in powerful ways. God created men to be leaders under pressure. God created men to be less reactionary in difficult decisions. I also believe that God, because He called our husbands into His ministry, will direct them in wise decision making. A Scripture I have claimed for my pastor husband many times when he has faced difficult decisions is this one: “But His secret counsel is with the upright.” (Prov 3:32; NKJV).

At times, all our husbands will face very difficult circumstances. There are certainly times when I am thankful that I am not the one in charge – the one who has to make the tough decisions. God has gifted our husbands as men who can be courageous in the face of those difficult times.

I encourage every minister’s wife, whether your husband is the senior pastor or a support team member, to search your heart, your thoughts, and your actions. Do your actions give the impression that you would really like to be the pastor? That you always think you have a better plan? Do you feel like the man in your life – or the men on your staff team – are not making the right decisions and need your advice? Do you criticize their leadership behind their backs? Do you undermine the decisions of others? Do you cause your husband to doubt his own leadership? Do you enjoy knowing everything about everything whether it involves you or not? Do you make the effort to calm a storm or create one?

God has called your husband to be the pastor, not you. If you will concentrate that energy on loving and supporting your husband and letting “the men be the men,” it will be much more enjoyable and fulfilling to serve as a minister’s wife. Let this be your goal…and “let the men be the men.”

Jeana Floyd

Adapted excerpt from “10 Things Every Minister’s Wife Needs to Know” by Jeana Floyd

Four Key Questions Every Church Leader Needs to Ask

question-marksDo you always know the right questions to ask? One of the most difficult things to do as a church leader is to know the right questions to ask. I believe when we discover this, we will make the right decisions for the future of the church. What are the four key questions every church leader needs to ask?

Question #1: What is best for the church?

The number one question that every church leader must always ask is: What is best for the church? In fact, church leaders need to teach the members of the church to ask this question: What is best for the church?

Sadly, in this day of entitlement, the fellowship of the church is being highjacked by the carnal consumerism of its members. This has occurred because too many of us have stopped asking this most important question: What is best for the church? The church is about Jesus Christ, the Word of God, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the discipleship of believers, the reaching of those without Christ, and the advancement of the Kingdom of God. The church is not about me and my personal needs. Nor is it about you and your personal needs.

At the next business conference in your church, point your people to this question: What is best for the church? At the next committee meeting where debate occurs about church matters, stop everyone. Push pause. Call them to ask this question: What is best for the church? Where there is a plethora of opinions about the future of the church and what the church should do, ask people to wrestle with this question: What is best for the church? If you are a Pastor approached by a staff member or a church leader about church matters, challenge them to ask this important question: What is best for the church?        

Listen friend, it is time we get back to what is best for the church of Jesus Christ. When we do, decision-making in the church will begin to make sense and operate in a more biblical order.

Question #2: What is best for the Office of the Pastor?

The second question that we need to ask when faced with decision-making in the church is the question: What is best for the Office of the Pastor? Today, there is a very concerted effort by the enemy, Satan himself, to bring destruction to the Office of the Pastor. Attack after attack is occurring, even bringing the termination of many God-called pastors in service to their church. This is sad and wrong.

The American culture is constantly questioning their leaders. Sadly, it happens not only in politics, education, business, and athletics, but even in the church. From news talk shows and debates to blogs and social media, there is a growing blatant attack on the leaders in our nation and world. Scripture does not applaud this conduct, but condemns it.

When churches or ministries are confused about the future, there must be enough spirituality present among people to ask these two questions, in this order:

  •  What is best for the church?
  • What is best for the Office of the Pastor?

You see, if the Office of the Pastor ever becomes jeopardized in a local church, then the entire church will be affected negatively. I have never seen a church that dishonors the Office of the Pastor go on to prosper over any length of time. In fact, I have seen those churches become shipwrecked.

I appeal to you to always have your church at heart, and then to always lift up the Office of the Pastor. When you do, your church will become a recipient of God’s blessing and power.

Question #3: What is best for my ministry?

Many well-intentioned church members and staff members are only concerned about the ministries they are involved in personally or may even lead. If they are not careful, this will skew their decision-making and can even sour their attitudes.

Always start with asking: What is best for the church? Then follow that with asking: What is best for the Office of the Pastor? Then and only then, is it right to ask the question: What is best for my ministry?

From your perspective, it may make sense for a specific ministry you are involved in to receive greater support financially. However, this may not be best for the church. Remember, the Pastor has to look at every ministry of the church, not just yours. Therefore, in reality, he may have to determine it is not best for the church and deny the allocation of monies. For the sake of what is best for the church, receive the decision.

Your desire just may not be met at this time. Perhaps it will be later, but just not now. Trust the Lord. Leave it in His hands.

Question #4: What is best for me?

How many times do you say about matters in the church, “Well, this is what I think we need to do”? Or, do you perhaps say, “Well, this is what will minister to me the most”? While this may be your feeling, it just may not be the will of God or the best thing for the church.

The greatest churches in the world are not the churches that cater to the needs of its people. The greatest churches in the world are those committed to being a Jesus church above all else and one of the wonderful by-products of this is that the needs of people are met. Christ-likeness moves decision-making, not consumerism.

Keep the list in order, refusing to let it become inverted

Keep these questions in your heart. Keep them before yourself. Keep them before the members of your church. Keep them in order. Refuse to let them become inverted by yourself, others, or your church.

What order do they go in? What is proper? What will bring order?

  • What is best for the church?
  • What is best for the Office of the Pastor?
  • What is best for my ministry?
  • What is best for me?

I hope you will have a great week in your church.

Yours For The Great Commission,

Ronnie W. Floyd