Pastor, How Should You Respond when You do not Meet the Expectations of Others?

I have never been able to meet the expectations of every church member. I do not know of one pastor in America or around the world that does.

The expectations many people have for leaders and pastors are absolutely out of control, and simply put, unreasonable. I could refer to case after case, whether relating to ministry, education, politics, or business. However, let me go straight to the bottom line.

As a Pastor, how should you respond when you do not meet the expectations of others?

1. Evaluate everything, beginning with yourself.

When we do not meet the expectations of others, the easiest thing for us to do is to point fingers at others, situations, or even make excuses. We can even get into a combative situation. Regardless of the conduct toward you, you have to take the high road. While it may be true that others may have affected the outcome, and situations beyond your control that may have influenced the present condition, the wisest thing to do is push pause. When you do this, begin with evaluating everything, including yourself.

• Are the expectations reasonable?
• Are the expectations attainable?
• Could I have done anything to improve the outcome?
• Can I do anything now?
• Should I do anything now?

2. Elevate the process, not the end result.

National championship football coach, Nick Saban, stated on “60 Minutes” that he tells his team at the University of Alabama not to look at the scoreboard, but the process; perfect the process and the scoreboard will take care of itself. Nick Saban is exactly right. Far too many times in our culture, we are bent on focusing on the end result rather than the process itself.

Pastors, we can learn from this. We need to learn the importance of knowing the right process to follow and elevate biblically in leading the church daily.

Therefore, let’s remember these things:

• The process always precedes the product.
• If you want a better product, change the process.
• Elevate process even more than your expectation.

3. Expand yourself and the rest will take care of itself.

Expanding yourself is not about increasing yourself, but about growing personally. Pastors, we must never stop growing and evaluating ourselves personally.

One of the greatest blessings that can happen from not meeting the expectation of someone else is that you can grow toward maturity as you grow through it personally. God wants to use all things in our life and leadership to make us more like Him. Ministry can be a wonderful teacher if you are willing to learn from it.

Therefore, it might help to ask yourself these questions and answer honestly:

• Am I teachable?
• What did I learn?
• Where will I go from here?
• How will I change?
• What will I do differently?
• What does God want me to do in this situation?
• What does God want to teach me through this?

Pastor, if you are willing to grow through the unmet expectations others have of you, the rest will take care of itself. Therefore, do not treat these unmet expectations as enemies, but embrace them as friends and teachers in your life.

Yours for the Great Commission,

Ronnie W. Floyd