Archive for the 'Leadership' Category
3 Decisions a Pastor Can Make That Will Help His Family
My wife Jeana grew up in the home of a Pastor, and we have always worked hard together to ensure our family is our #1 priority following our personal commitment to Jesus Christ. To God’s glory, my wife did not ever resent the church as the wife of a pastor, and as our children grew, they did not ever resent the church. In fact, our church was our life!
The four of us loved the church and we still love the church! Our boys’ spouses love the church and they are now raising children who love the church!
How did we escape the testimony I often hear of pastor’s families resenting the church? By God’s grace and prayer. I also believe we made several decisions that moved us along toward a positive experience. I will note three of these decisions.
Decision #1: We Were Always Positive About the Church
On multiple occasions, we shared with our children how blessed we were to be able to know some of the greatest people in the world, which were people connected to the church. While we did not ignore the challenges along the way, we did not ever resort to negativity in front of our children. Nor did we permit it to come out of their mouths.
Pastors, never speak negatively about the church in front of your children. In fact, rarely even speak negatively in front of your wife. It never proves to be beneficial to anyone.
An additional thought: remind your wife and children of the benefits you receive because of serving as a pastor. There are many. You get to know leaders of the community. You get to be a part of significant events and experiences. You also may be afforded some rare blessings and invitations that would never come to anyone other than a pastor. This is a blessing, and we need not ever forget it.
Decision #2: We Spent Time Together as a Family
There was a moment when I decided I would never sacrifice my family on the altar of ministry success. This pivotal decision led to a commitment to take each Friday off to be with my wife and children. All of these years, I have been faithful to this, rarely violating it. What began in 1985 is still practiced today.
Focused time with Jeana and the children while they were growing up in our home resulted in accelerating our family life greatly. Therefore, for thirty years, Jeana and I have spent Fridays together.
Yes, life sometimes gets in the way. And I have to admit this is being challenged now more than ever before. Two of the last three Fridays, Jeana and I were not able to spend together due to various responsibilities. But because it is a commitment we have made, this is rarely violated. At times, I have turned down significant opportunities that would take me away on Fridays, and have been glad to do so for our family.
You see pastor, you must realize now: Marriage and parenting has no dress rehearsals! You get one shot; therefore, make it count!
Additionally, we vacationed together as a family when our boys were young, and still do today. We allocate at least one week each summer to this experience none of us would ever consider missing. As well, I was with the boys at the events they valued in life. By the way, nothing was ever sacrificed at the church to make sure this happened.
Decision #3: We Prayed Together as a Family
Our boys never left for school without us praying over them. Yes, all those years. When challenges occurred in life, we would also hit our knees as a family and give our burdens to the Lord in prayer.
For years, I would pray and fast one day a week for my children, their future, and their success. When I still enter a day or a season of fasting, my children and wife always make my list of concerns along with my daughters-in-law and our six grandchildren.
I also pray daily for my wife, children and spouses, and grandchildren. For example, I pray the following daily for my grandchildren, Peyton, Parker, Jack, Reese, Beckham, and Nora:
“Provide them godly Christian friends and help them achieve in school successfully. May they love Jesus and His church. Grow them in their faith in years to come. May they be used to change the world for Jesus Christ. May they know we love them and we are there for them in every way. May the boys date and marry only godly girls who love Jesus and His Church. May the girls date and marry only boys who love Jesus and His Church, and will be men who are spiritual leaders.”
I take my role seriously as an interceder for my family. This is why for decades, I have prayed for Jeana, my boys, their spouses, and our grandchildren, placing the armor of God upon them spiritually as recorded in Ephesians 6:10-20.
Therefore, my Pastor Friend…
Lead your family spiritually. You can do it. It is done one decision at a time. Lead on!
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.
When Ministry is Defeating You
Pastors experience seasons when ministry defeats them. I have been there personally. At times, I still get there.
What This Looks Like
When ministry is defeating you, failure seems to be at your door continually. Perhaps ministry seems like it cannot return to what it once was before this season. Simultaneously, the critics are making themselves known loudly. You struggle daily, trying to move things along positively, but setbacks seem to be your daily challenge. You look around and nothing seems positive at all.
You determine to bring things back and set your gaze on the future positively. Yet, questions continue, insecurity abounds, and you are really not confident you have it within you to do what needs to be done. You try, but every decision is like climbing a mountain and every emotion is hyper sensitive.
People notice you are struggling and try to encourage you. While their intentions seem pure, their words seem so futile. You have stopped believing in yourself and even struggle in believing God can change the situation. This makes their words seem meaningless.
Have you ever been anywhere close to this? If so, what did you do? How do you press forward and get through to the other side?
3 Actions to Take When Ministry is Defeating You
To be honest with you, I have been there. And even a list of actions may seem like I am trivializing the situation you may find yourself in. Please know, I speak from some experience. I have done ministry a long time and if anyone has a decade under their feet, they have experienced challenges similar to what I described above.
What actions can you take to press through to a new day, filled with joy, peace, and hope in ministry? Let me suggest these three actions.
Action #1: Take it to the Lord in prayer daily.
No, I am not trying to spiritualize the situation, but in reality, your present status is worthy of continual prayer. We cannot ignore the dynamic of God moving in your life, lifting you up from your present feelings, and placing you on the higher ground of faith. Our God is able to restore your faith, readjust your perspective, and refresh your spirit.
Action #2: Gain perspective about where you really are right now.
When you are under the cloud of defeat, it becomes increasingly difficult to see matters as they really are. Gaining perspective is just not as easy as it was once. So how do you gain perspective?
I remember someone telling me years ago: Just remember, things are never as bad as they appear to be, nor as good as you think they are. This is why you need people in your life that will be honest with you from their perspective. It also helps to have people that are not always in your fan club.
Additionally, consider retreating from the setting for a day or two, attempting to gain perspective by seeing things from a distance rather than trying to gain perspective in the middle of the weeds. I believe at times this is why Moses went to the mountain. Yes, to pray, to talk to God, but also to see things from God’s perspective. This is what every leader needs to do periodically.
Action #3: Determine you are moving toward victory and plan accordingly.
The problem with this defeat syndrome pastors often experience is that there are times we just settle in and begin to accept it as the norm. A defeated leader leads negatively, and negative leadership leads to nothing.
Change your attitude now, and chart a path for yourself that will move you forward to victory. In reality, the only thing you can change is your response to the situation. Sometimes the situation remains the same.
Listen pastor, a little perspective for you: Ministry is full of seasons. Sometimes we have winning seasons and sometimes we feel we are experiencing some losing seasons. Things change. You change. Churches change.
Determine now that you are going to ride this out and move forward with a victorious attitude regardless of the season you are in as a leader. You will have a miserable ministry if you let the circumstances you face determine your level of joy. Refuse to do that.
Rise up, pastor! Go forward! Set your sights on victory! Charge!
Yours for the Great Commission,
Ronnie W. Floyd
Dr. Ronnie Floyd is the President & CEO of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee.