The Pastor and His Family During the Christmas Season

The pastor is pulled in a thousand directions all the time, but especially during the Christmas season. Through the seasons of leadership I have experienced over twenty-eight years of ministry here, there have been some very challenging years. However, I have always really tried to insure that my family received my love, support, and focus. Looking back through the years, I believe I have been able to do this in a satisfactory and fulfilling way.

What Threatens Time With the Family

Any pastor can state the intention not to sacrifice his family during the Christmas season. Yet, in order to make this a reality, he needs to know what can threaten his time with his family.

What are some of these possible threats?

1. Busyness at church

True busyness exists in most churches during the Christmas season. This is not always bad. Churches need to seize the moment to do all they can for the gospel during the Christmas season.

It is important that the pastor is not placed in the situation of having to be “the life” in all the ministry and social opportunities of the season. We must lead and be diligent workers, however, we must realize and remember that our role is to equip the saints to do the work of the ministry for the glory of God. We do not always have to do all and be all.

2. Your children’s schedules

When my boys were growing up, we were a football family. We did Jesus first, church second, and football third! When the boys were playing high school football, we started in August and many years, went through the entire playoff run to the mid-December state championship games.

At the same time, we were doing major Christmas productions at church, some lasting several nights in a row, plus normal life and church. All of this takes a lot out of you emotionally as a family.

The schedule of children of all ages is a continual challenge to a pastor and his family during the Christmas season.

3. The tragedies in families

Many Christmas seasons have been filled with horrible tragedies in the lives of some of our church members and their families. Nothing is worse for a family than walking through a tragedy and conducting a memorial service for a loved one within a few days of Thanksgiving or Christmas. Many times we have had multiple families dealing with tragedies in the same year.

All of this can be very draining emotionally on the pastor and his family. At times, this alters schedules, plans, and sometimes leads to disappointments.  I remember that some years ago on Christmas morning, I visited several of our families who had tragically lost their loved one. It seemed selfish of me to enjoy my family when some of our families were paralyzed with their pain and loss.

How the Pastor Can Insure His Family Receives His Love, Support, and Focus During the Christmas Season

I want to suggest a few things for each pastor to remember or do to insure his family receives his love, support, and focus during the Christmas season.

1. Remember that every job experiences unusually busy seasons

Pastor, do everything you can to keep your focus on the reality that every job has busy seasons, not just the pastorate. Do not get to a point of resenting your job or church. This is not right. It is sin.

Seasons have beginnings and endings. If you know a really busy time is about to occur, allocate some special time for your family before or after that season. Prepare your family as you invest in them and remind them of the busy schedule and when it will end.

2. Plan to lead your family through schedule challenges

Pastors who are also dads need to step up and lead their families through schedule challenges. Be engaged in all the family challenges, rising to bring wisdom to the choices families face daily. Lead your family not to meet the unrealistic expectations of others; lead them by what is best for everyone at the time and would honor the Lord the most.

Families need to get off of the endless treadmill sometimes. They need to push pause. They need to reevaluate everything. As husbands and dads, pastors need to lead their families through this experience. The end result will be one thing: You will be more able to love, support, and focus on your family, rather than be the reactor to their desires and expectations.

3. Take time away during the Christmas season

Every pastor needs time away from the pulpit and from the daily operations of the church. Lay people, always insure this occurs for your pastor.

While you may need to be accessible prior to Christmas, plan to be away at some point. You will be a better pastor and the church will become a better church.

While I have a typical Christmas schedule I follow most years, I am very committed to always do what is best for the church. However, I also need to consider my family’s needs. It is rare that someone will resent the pastor for being away.

If you work hard and are faithful to the tasks, take time away. Always insure that someone is taking care of the people and their pastoral needs. When you are away from the pulpit, insure the best person possible speaks in your absence.

When this is done, leave and enjoy the time away. Another season is on the way.

Yours for the Great Commission,

Ronnie W. Floyd